6 to go.

I have 6 shifts left in the Birthing Unit and then I'm done with that rotation for now. THANK GOD. I have so many mixed feelings about that place, it's hard to know what to do. I feel physically unwell before I go to work and permanently on high alert while I'm there, and it's not a healthy feeling. But then, once I'm there and I know what I'm doing I begin to feel better(ish) and I usually walk out feeling ok. I've even had some beautiful, straightforward normal births which completely reinforced my love of midwifery, but it's that feeling of being on shaky ground that is exhausting.

I'm not alone in the way I feel, pretty much every other girl I'm doing this transitional year with feels the same. I've been told it gets better with time, so I keep telling myself that.

At least the other areas I work in are fine. It's often hard work and very tiring, but I don't dwell on it and I don't fear going to work. I'm not sure what's going to happen next year in terms of this constant rotation through the areas of the maternity service. It becomes very disjointed and unsettling after a while and I don't feel I'm consolidating anything at the moment.