Greener Grass

A friend was looking at the photos I had posted from our holiday to Tilba and commented, "You guys are such a cool family! You're always doing such fun things and going amazing places."

Really?

I would beg to differ.

It's funny how we look at other people's lives and think how much better they have it, or how much more they do with their kids. I look at families who take their kids to live overseas for a year, or on a camping trip around Australia or a trek through Nepal and I wish I could give my kids that. I assume it must be great, just like my friend assumed our weekend away was great.

Which is mostly was. But I didn't post any pictures of the mammoth tantrum that Ruby had outside a café where we were going to have lunch, or pictures of us all getting back in the car without having lunch and driving away with Ruby screaming in the back seat and the boys yelling at her. I don't have photos of me standing helplessly in the supermarket aisle, unable to make a choice about what to buy to take back to the house for lunch because I was alternating between so, so much rage towards this child for ruining the day and despair because I felt that rage and didn't know how to fix it.

Living with a volatile child is hard, hard work and I am exhausted. It's lucky I have those photos of the lovely things we do to remind me that we have had lots and lots of good times, too.