looming

Ruby only has 6 weeks left of preschool! The moment I have been waiting for since she was about 2 is fast approaching, and suddenly I'm wanting to stop the clock. There will be no more playgroup, no more "little" kid stuff. I think the main thing is that Ruby is still very babyish about a lot of things, and she is having a hard time at the moment emotionally. The change looming is making her clingy and fragile, and she breaks down in tears at the thought of me leaving her. She even gets upset if I leave her for a short while with Bianca, whom she loves like a second mum. I'm sure that if I had been working for all these years, more than just on a casual basis, it would not feel so strange. But I've been at home for nearly 10 years, and while I'm desperate to start my life again, and fulfill some of my dreams, it's like steeping off a cliff into the unknown.

Yesterday we took the children to a spring fair at one of the local schools. It was a nice way to spend a couple of hours. Ruby sat very still and seriously with a baby rabbit on her lap and brushed it's fur with an old toothbrush at the farmyard nursery, and boys shot some hoops set up in the playground. We sat and watched a dance item performed by 7 year old girls in full makeup and gyrating hips doing an interpretation of Singin' in the Rain. Ruby loved it. Brett and I thought it was a paedophile's paradise.