Stressssssss

I'll admit it. I'm not having the greatest time at the moment. I have not really had any good days at work. It seems that complications and drama have followed me from the moment I walked through the doors. Nothin has gone particularly wrong, but neither have things gone stunningly right. I spend my shifts like the proverbial duck on the top of the calm water, with frantically paddling legs underneath. There is just so much to learn and the know and to be able to do. And I'm supposed to have done things, like, yesterday. This is the state of our healthcare system, there is not enough staff to give quality care to people, and the staff get stressed and exhausted. I knew what I was getting into, but the reality is hard, really hard. I have had moments where I've thought, I can't do this.

But I can, and I will. I know I just need to find my feet and to remember to breathe. The feedback I've been getting from the senior staff has been good and I'm sure that someone would have said something if they weren't happy with my performance.

There have been good moments. I cared for a woman for the entire shift through a very difficult labour, where I had concerns for the welfare of the baby. I think I managed it well and the outcome was good. I went to see her the next day and she thanked me for looking after her.

I have 5 more shifts on Birth Unit and then I go to the maternity ward. I know that will be busy, busy, busy as well, but I generally feel a bit more within my comfort zone there. Time will tell.