Coming to terms

We've had a week now to digest and think about Declan's diagnosis. On Tuesday I received the official letter from the psychiatrist stating that a 'provisional diagnosis of Pevasisve Developmental Delay/Austistic Spectrum Disorder is appropriate at this stage.' Upon reading that I felt quite shaky for a moment, even though it has been hinted at for several months, and certainly the doctor had more or less said it at the appointment. But now it is in writing, and the wheels have started to turn, with a letter going to the school, as well, so that Declan can get extra support there. It is strange, but my biggest worry or fear about this is all is; what if the doctor is wrong? What if he doesn't have PDD/ Aspergers? Suddenly I'm looking for symptoms and analyising everything he does. I have been given a couple of books on the subject, some of things in them apply to Declan, and some don't. But then I come back to the indisputable fact that Declan has melt downs at school and home over 'trivial' things, he has narrow interests and he is frequently on his own. Put it this way, Declan has only been invited to one birthday party the whole time he has been at school (almost 2 years). He doesn't have elaborate routines he follows, although last week his teacher told me that he spends a lot of time sharpening and resharpening his pencils, and neither does he have a lot of trouble with eye contact- though on occasion I have seen him literally shut his eyes when he has been asked a question he doesn't want to answer.

Anyway. It took about a week for me to come to the decision that whatever the diagnosis- right or wrong- if this means that Dexie will have a bit of an easier time with some extra support, then that is great! Our hope that he will 'grow out of it', which can happen with this mild form, the nervous system eventually catches up and the outcomes are positive. I am also now almost convinced that Brett also had/has the same condition (and the first mention of that came from him!), and indeed, Brett has lived a perfectly happy and successful life.

Wow, it is so warm today! About 30 degrees or so, and only September. I must remember to water the veggie garden before it all dies.