split personality

Ruby is sleeping on my lap, so I am typing over her. I should put her in her bed- she is sweaty and dribbling down my front. But her weight is warm and snug against me and her breath is sweet. I wonder how much longer she will sleep on me like this? In 3 weeks she will be 3 years old.

Ruby exhausts me. Some days I just want to curl up in a ball and cry from it. When she is happy and sunny she is the easiset child ever. But she is stubborn and quick to anger. Some days I battle 3 temper tamtrums just getting from home to school and back again. She won't get into the car. She won't sit in her seat. She won't leave preschool. She won't sit in the trolley at the shops. I am one of those mothers with the screaming child flailing around red faced on the floor of the supermarket. And I am so tired of trying to jolly her along and distract her into compliance. Today she refused to sit her her car seat when we were leaving school. It was pouring rain and i was getting soaked and she was screaming at me. I threw her into her seat and shouted "SIT IN YOUR FUCKING SEAT!!!" Nice one. Swearing at your toddler and it's only 9am.

Now she is stirring on me and wrapping her arms around my neck. She is such a love. It's like raising Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.