strange

I have strange children. I know I've said that before, but I feel that it's an issue worth revisiting, as they just seem to get stranger as they get older. Declan, for example, is particularly strange. I always thought that he was the more solid one out of the three of them. Simon was usually off in his own little fantasy land, Ruby is off in la-la toddler world, but Dexie has always been a practical, grounded child. But now there is Grossology.

This is a cartoon that comes on at 5.30pm on Fridays on ABC kids. It's the only channel they are allowed to watch, the content is always good quality, no violence or advertisements for McDonalds. Grossology is based on a series of books of the same name, and Declan ab-so-lutely luuuurrrrrves it. The story lines centre on a brother and sister "crime fighting duo" called Ty and Abby. They solve 'gross' mysteries that have a scientific element, like foot fungus, scabs, diahrroea and flatulance. (Or flatchance, as Dexie puts it.) All of this fascinates him, and he has now decided that he is going to be a scientist when he grows up. (Simon has helpfully pointed out that Dexie may like to be something else first, as scientists don't seem to know very much, that's why they are always trying to find out things.)

Grossology is now the game of choice and declan has asked to be called Ty, and he refers to me as Abby. The thing is, it's as much fun to play with Declan as it is to, oh I don't know, wax your legs. He is the most dictatorial play mate I've ever seen. He says things like, "Ok, now we are going to play Grossology, episode 6." He has memorised each episode, as we tape them for him, and when he says he wants to play episode 6, he means he literally wants to play episode 6- line by freaking line.

"Right Mummy, I mean Abby. You sit here and then I say 'Time for a little snooping.' and you say 'Grossology style?' and I say "You got it!" and then we get into our suits."

"Ok, then Ty, lets do some snooping grossology style!"

"No! That is not right! I say Time for a little snooping and you say grossology style after that."

"oh, sorry."

"Right.... Time for a little snooping!"

"um.... grossology style?"

If I get that part right, next comes the bit where we pretend to get into our special suits, which involves a lot of sound effects from Declan, and then we whiz off to fight crime. He directs this bit too, verbatim from the show and god help you if you mess up your lines. There is usually some bizarre little monologue in there too, where Dexie takes himself to a corner and has a conversation with himself, presumably hearing the other character's lines in his head. Yesterday it was, "Ask a girl out? Are you craaaazy?"

Thankfully he has now roped Ruby into this game as he just feeds her the lines one by one and she will repeat it back, and that makes him happy. I have gracefully stepped aside as Abby and it's a weight off my shoulders. Simon, smart boy that he is, avoids playing Grossology at all costs.